My kid sister is expecting a baby.
This September.
The second Sunday of September.
Football season.
This was my response when she came to me, smiling, to share the big news: “You know, that’s football season, don’t you?” She didn’t quite seem to get it.
Her response: “So.”
I had to sit her down to explain to her the implications of her decision. I spelled out my plans for the fall—football, followed by more football, baseball playoffs, NHL and NBA—and then I told her that having a baby at all in the fall was simply out of the question.
She went on to lecture me about Mother Nature and how the baby will come when she comes. That was when she dropped another bomb on me. She wants me to be in the room with her during the delivery. I told her, sure, as long as she delivers on a Tuesday or Wednesday. I’m a sports junkie, after all. Am I really needed in the room? Or at the hospital? Or even in the same state? What purpose will I serve? Giving play by play as my sister pushes, screams, curses and repeats.
Thursday nights, particularly with the advent of the NFL Network, are becoming more of a football night.
Fridays nights in the fall are completely set aside for high school football, a big deal in small towns across America such as my hometown.
On Saturday, I’m glued to the tube for college football.
On Sundays in the fall, don’t even think about it—it’s NFL from noon until the end of the Sunday night game.
Finally, the cherry on top, is the “Monday Night Football” matchup.
That leaves Tuesday and Wednesday for my sister’s delivery.
She’s checking her schedule.
I’m holding my breath.
7 comments:
Wednesday is South Park night, so that would be out the question for me.
Two days? I'm thinking about things like a 20 hour labor that could easily spill over into ESPN's special Thursday night matchup between the MAC and WAC, or Mountain West vs. Big West.
In short, when it comes to kids, we can't win. They're never where they're supposed to be when they're supposed to be. They're late, they're early and seldom dressed appropriately.
People like this--the pregnant sister--are the same folks who plan weddings during Notre Dame Saturdays, baby showers for Game 7 of the World Series and furniture shopping trips for Super Bowl Sunday. It's like "Oops, was this the night you wanted to watch the NCAA Finals? I had no idea."
These are also the same folks who says things like "it's just a game!"
Arrggghhhhh
Reminds me of the joke about the guy sitting alone at the Super Bowl with an empty seat next to him. He explains that the seat belonged to his wife, who didn't get to come because she had passed away. When asked if he had any other friends or family members who could have gone with him, he said, "No. They're all at the funeral."
You're comparing a baby with sports????? I've wondered onto the wrong blog.
Wow. Looks like you've got some choices to make. But I'm sure you can miss a game for the birth in the family. Look at it this way: You can have the doctors with you wehn you go to watch football when your turn comes up.
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